...

2009-04-02T08:36:00.000-07:00

I'm having a rough moment in life.. It doesn't help if friends make me feels worst.

This morning when i wake up, my mother scolded me. My Psp suddenly switched itself off so i panicked last night. And when i woke up this morning, my mother was scolding me for not even caring for it. She keep saying alot of bad things about me. She keep saying if i keep this up, not caring for my things, she will leave me in singapore and go and marry the guy she met online in Cambodia...

What is wrong with this world... I feel so weary inside. I tried to watch youtube videos to take the mind off the pain of losing my bf and getting scolded daily by my mother.

I login msn. The first thing was leon. So i chatted with him i felt better. Then later, Reeves msn-ed me and asked me whether i was taking him for a ride or not. I was abit surprised about why he would say like that. He told me ppl contacted him for his guitar and keyboard lessons but failed to commit. Then he just went offline like this. I felt so sad inside. Why take it that i played a prank on u? I did what u wanted: i changed my msn title and asked if anyone wanted to take lessons and placed ur email there. If they changed their mind after talking to you, is it still my fault?

I was so frustrated i just told leon," what is wrong with u guys" and then he started swearing at me. He told me don't use a statement like this.. Like.. U u u.. I guess i was feeling rather down and just used "u" to mean males. Usually i use "u guys" to mean males only, no females involved. Cause most of the problems i have is from guys.

So now i'm sad. I'm down. Like when i was feeling so lonely and sad when my father passed away, i used to play Maplestory to get out of life. And now i'm using Cabal to get out of it again.

I wonder how long i can take this before i break down again.

Help.. someone.....

2009-03-30T10:20:00.000-07:00

I guess he's happy now that he knows that i'm okay. It's good. At least he won't suffer with me..

Damm, i'm still hurting as usual. It always hurt unless i occupy myself with something. It's hard to keep up a lie. Just keep smiling and smiling then when he turns i collapse. Hah..

Hard for me to express myself nw.. So watch this video.. It's a song i connected to..

2009-03-30T09:17:00.000-07:00

yooo hoooo!!!! I'm back muahahaha!!!

Wah, i haven't updated like so long hahas.Well, i did alot of things in these few weeks. I've been cabaling and going out with friends tooo.. wow..

I did mia a few days too, sry guys. Receiving counselling for my break up problem argh... It was tough man. And well, a few days of it was alright! And i think i'm altogether okay le... But the pain still twitches. But i feel better nw.. Lots better. I do yearn to love someone sigh.. It just sucks to be alone sometimes... Yea, well. I just nw wanted to chat with bruce lo.. Tell him how was it. Then unlucky, i can't find my phone WAHHH.. Siao sia.. I searched oso can't. I think ran out of battery. Call also never reply de.. =(( Sad!!!

So i asked Hanfeng help me pass message to bruce. course i got tell bruce where i going to for help. And then Hanfeng just ask me go and sms him myself.. Argh... Nvm lo.. Tml i tell him.

Oh ya. I'm too lazy to post pics so go to my FB and go look through all the pics of what i've been up to.. Yay, later i going Cabal again muahahas.. D:

Oh ya, just now got choir. Daryl and Jason so funny lo. I'm glad now our choir so lively now.

I think i'm considered blessed than most ppl already.. I should be grateful so i need to thank all my friends =D

Thanks most of all to Deb,Jay,shaSha,Bruce,Bryan kor,Long Fei,MAN,Lex'C,Ming Yang, my tenants, My mom, Luth kor, Reeve papa, Loon a.k.a Ex Mapler NightzAOG, Mei vonne a.k.a yumiko, The 3 Andys in my life: Wong,Tan,Cheong( Lmao Andy), Justin-Ah..(Justina), Xin yi aka Nicole, Qimin a.k.a Queen , the Choir Trio, Aisah for laughing despite everything. Faith for.. urhh faith?

No thanks to daddy Kang wei for asking me for the 5th time how me and my bf is doing.. Tell him so many times break le still can ask me same question RARRRR..

<333>

toodles, tml going out with Bryan kor...
Will upload peektures =D

....

2009-03-14T01:12:00.000-07:00

Argh, joshie and bennifer suddenly mia so on wed and thurs i was rotting at home. Anyways, i had choir ytd so i didn't come online..

However, this morning i checked my blog because i felt like blogging.. So my msn was on as usual and straight away my friends tell me about the tagboard issue. And then i read the latest one on Pwnster aka jordan.

To the immature person who decided to pose as Jordan: GET A LIFE!!!! Me and jordan were on the phone that day and he was helping me check my maple account. Whoever wants to stir problems GND pls.

Even my galfren is pissed with this matter.

Jac sent 12/03/2009 11:21 PM:
eh..ur tagboard very dramatic leh...
Jac sent 12/03/2009 11:22 PM:
y dont u juz ban them frm tagging
Jac sent 12/03/2009 11:22 PM:
making me so pissed off
Jac sent 12/03/2009 11:22 PM:
cos got 1 of them say i m teaching u to not face reality
Jac sent 12/03/2009 11:22 PM:
wth
Jac sent 12/03/2009 11:22 PM:
so pissed
Jac sent 12/03/2009 11:23 PM:
i wanna tag back but later ur tagboard will becum more dramatic again so i rather msn u
Jac sent 12/03/2009 11:23 PM:
haha
Jac sent 12/03/2009 11:23 PM:
and u spelt my name WRONGLY!!!!!!!
Jac sent 12/03/2009 11:23 PM:
haha

To alan: when hanfeng apologised on ur behalf, i took it. But why are u here to tag in a negative way again? Do u like creating problems?

Ok, i'm fking pissed le. I wanted to blog abt my awesome dinner with the choir yesterday but now i lost my passion for blogging.

2009-03-12T00:00:00.000-07:00

Oh man. I was actually kinda happy last night. UNTIL THE DRAMA STARTED. If u guys are wondering what happened pls read my previ0us post and the tagboard.

These few days have been hectic. Me and hanfeng are okay with each other as friends already but after all that drama i feel like i really need get out of life awhile.

To whoever zk or Hanfeng's friends pls. We solved the matter last night already. Why are u still commenting on my blog about last night matter? After talking to Jordan aka Pwnster i totally understand why he is frustrated.

Put urself in his shoes. He loves me for close to 4 years. But i don't love him at all. And he keeps getting angrier as he see me stead with one guy after another and everyone keep hurting me. I mean, as a guy, will u get upset to see ur love one cry every single night?

Pls stop this rubbish on my blog cause i'm fed up with this nonsence or i will delete my blog.

And hanfeng, i truly agree with u now that our friends are the main reason we break up.

2009-03-11T10:19:00.001-07:00

I never knew why u yelled at me. You always said i was useless but even though u scream and shouted at me u always came back.

Remember the first time, at bootes? I asked u how to get to Elinia in MapleStory. U told me to take vip cab and then u gave me 1k mesos. I ended up at Sleepywood thanks to u!!!! Hahas. U were my first ever bootes fren. Then i went over to Cass le but we still email each other.

I nv mentioned u to anyone. I guess at first it was childish to say," hey i have a fren i met in MapleStory". Then slowly i chatted with Marcus, Jopie and then i forgot u le.

U still care for me right? I know u dun mean all those yellings. U used to smile always with that font hahaas. =) . F3 Maplestyle haha!! And u're always F2ing at me. u came over sometimes with that noob account to talk to me.

What happened sia. 4 years ago. When i joined maple cause i was lonely. No one in school was really there. Sheryl was always talking to Krystal then all the class had Bffs. I wanted to clique so bad. U're scold me EVERYDAY. Cus i maple 12hrs per day. But i remember i bought another extra 2xp card later then u scold me even harder.

U're younger than me. but u're more mature than me wor. We were always miles apart. We don't mention each other to our frens. We were non-existant. Sometimes i think u're just a figment of my imagination. We just sneak talks now and then. What are we?

Don't get angry. I got myself into relationships. It should be my mistakes alone. But i dun wan u to punish me. I know i did it wrong. Don't scold me idiot or slut or anything pls. I'm not. I just wanted love and understanding.

U always scold me but u loved me right? Sadly, we'll frens only. No more. Sry. I say i feel better but i still love him alot. I know it's foolish to keep holding on but i'm trying my best to get over him ok? Cheer up, like u always say. U can find a better guy. I say the same to u. U deserve someone else better nw ok? Stay Happy.

I wun mention who u are bt it's obvious right.

Keep smiling always.

2009-03-11T03:36:00.000-07:00

Monday:

Slacked the whole day. Was chatting with Daryl,Xiang Cai, Daddy( i got alot of daddies =/) and a couple of other ppl before my Choir. Hahas.. It was raining as usual lo... Everyday rain rain rain sigh.. It's getting so colddddd =(

Then later during choir we went through 2 songs: So Sick and I'm Yours. Hahas, Deborah loves the song i'm yours. Because of her i knew how to sing abit ( Thnx sweetie!)

Then later i went out with Bennifer to Clementi to eat @ Botak Jones. Ben took pics lo but until now haven send me yet ROAR.. Soo after that he send me home. Then i keep pleading him to poledance. Sadly there wasn't any nice poles he wanted to use so he'll be owing me a pole dance YAY!!!!

Then later kor kor bryan tell me bedtime story hahas. Soooo sweet of him.

Bryan. says:(1:11:12 AM)

Once there was a girl name Sarah.

Bryan . says: (1:11:13 AM)
she was the princess of astral.
Bryan . says: (1:11:18 AM)
astral = name of town..
Bryan . says: (1:11:37 AM)
but there was this evil wizard who wants to control the town.
Bryan . says: (1:12:12 AM)
as he was so evil, kidnapping the princess was the only way to make himself king. As he had tried alot of ways, like killing king but all failed.
Bryan . says: (1:12:34 AM)
so knowing that the princess visits the garden every friday morning.
Bryan . says: (1:12:54 AM)
he lied to the princess that there was another garden further out into town.
Bryan . says: (1:13:06 AM)
being in loved with flowers, she heeded his words.
Bryan . says: (1:13:37 AM)
upon reaching the so-called garden, she fell into a trap, and was kidnapped by the wizard.
Bryan . says: (1:13:54 AM)
to protect himself from the armies sent by the king,
Bryan . says: (1:14:03 AM)
he created a dragon pet for himself,
Bryan . says: (1:14:10 AM)
a BIG RED EVIL dragon.
Bryan . says: (1:14:24 AM)
the king's armies died one by one.
Bryan . says: (1:14:39 AM)
But, there was this knight, named bryan (HAHAHA).
Bryan . says: (1:14:57 AM)
he told the king that he alone would be able to save the princess.
Bryan . says: (1:15:06 AM)
thus, he went to the cave.
Bryan . says: (1:15:15 AM)
faced the dragon.
Bryan . says: (1:15:39 AM)
the dragon was huge and powerful, but to the knight's eye, it was nothing.
Bryan . says: (1:15:56 AM)
the knight and the dragon fought wildly.
Bryan . says: (1:16:06 AM)
untill the cave collaspe and killed the dragon !
Bryan . says: (1:16:17 AM)
then the wizard was kidnapped. and the princess was saved !
Bryan . says: (1:16:30 AM)
the town lived peacefully after ever.
Bryan . says: (1:16:31 AM)
ok
Bryan . says: (1:16:33 AM)
THE END
Bryan . says: (1:16:37 AM)
sorry. you're sleeping le
Bryan . says: (1:16:38 AM)
:D

Tues:

Went out with my awesome girlfriends: Doreen(a.k.a reen), Jacqueline(jac jac), Li Ling ( ling ling~) and Peck Si ( pepsi!). We ate at some sushi place at Cineleisure there. Quite nice the food.

After the meal peekture =)

Me and Jac Jac decorating the NeoPrints =)

Doreen and Jac Jac =)

Doreen satisfied with her decorations =)

Jac Jac hard at work.. Mistress Artist =D

Then after that we walked to Far East Plaza. Walk awhile then Doreen says she need to go home. Liling went with her =(. Then Jac left to go find her cousin. Sighhhhh. Later me and Pecksi went to watch slumdog millionaire. She never cry lo!!! Wah, i feel so emotional. I keep tearing hahas. Anyways hope to see u again my dears =) xoxo.

P.s i Love my gothic outfit eeeeeeee.

Wednesday.

Mafia Wars on Facebook whole day. Yay, 3 days lvl 28 le yes arh.. I'm a pro chiongster haha =(

I very sian login Tagged le. Sooo boring. All the tikopeh. Then Bennifer today suppose to go out with me in the end never contact me at all. =( Hope tomorrow i hang out with Tissue paper it will be better. Yay, tml going joshie house =) Last time we watch horror movies together then everytime i scream i bang my head on his metal thingy. *sniff*. Okay bah.. Will update again when i'm free.

I'm feeling better, and i don't think abt you that much anymore..

P.s How come my mother can get hair extensions and pay 300 dollars but doesn't want me to get a camera T_T''?

2009-03-06T19:25:00.000-08:00

Woke up today, my head doesn't feel anything. I feel nothing now, not a care in the world. i guess this is how it turns out. I tried my best, and it just wasn't enough.

I started off yesterday with the intention to help Bruce initiate his plan to give Miao Hui roses. That was so sweet of him. I went with my boyfriend and his friends to Sentosa. It was hard to get to talk to a clique for 5 girls. I mean, girls are different from guys- we clique and after that it's not easy to invite strangers into the conversation. I tried my best then after that i decided to go down to the beach. It was hot and i wanted to have a dip in the sea. Then my dear came over and we talked about alot of stuff.

He talked about long relationships and how this relationship isn't working because of our friends. He said he can't get along with my friends and i don't even give an effort to make friends with his friends. So he suggested we break up and become friends. When my heart was torn into pieces he just carried on. I was breaking and breaking inside. It really was tough. I wanted to scream at him to shut up. But he just went on about what was he thinking going into a relationship with me before becoming friends first. Wow, thanks alot... *scarcasm*.

Anyways i got so hurt i decided to like shut myself of my feelings. If you don't think it won't hurt anymore. I've done it so many times it was just easy to just be a part and not apart of the moment. It's like shutting down my feelings. The other girls like sensed a change when we came back. When they were burying Bruce in the sand, Si jie whispered to me whether me and Han Feng were okay. I said no and i started opening up to her. After that the rest of the girls were nicer to me, they invited me to go along with them to the bathroom and we chatted abit there. I felt better after that.

After their bath, we all went to delifrance to sit awhile then i also tried to chat with them more. I didn't really expected to make such good friends as they all. After that we walked here and there until Bruce arrived. With Si jie and Miao Hui waiting at the bridge, we watched Bruce walked with his brunch of flowers.

Well, it didn't work out but i think Bruce felt better getting the feeling through to Miao Hui even though she didn't reciprocate it. Oh wells,..

After that i asked Bruce if he wanted to drink and well, we went to find vodka but the Cool Bar and the 7-11 at Sentosa wasn't selling. So, we went to Vivo mart. On the way, i met with Ben 10 who was good enough to come out to meet me even though he had a hectic scheldule * ARIGATO BEN*. Sooo, we bought our drinks and we went out to the sky park to sit and drink.

I hate beer. It taste bitter. I forced myself to drink up a can of beer. After that i felt very lightheaded. I felt like if i do anything now, nobody can stop me that kinda feeling. I helped Bruce and Hong Wei finish their Vodka also oops. After that i can't remember much . It's like a blur.

But i remembered that i wanted to control my emotions. I wanted to stop thinking but the thoughts just went through my head. Arghhhh. But i didn't feel the sunburn on my back anymore. I guess when you drink alot of things are a blur and you can't really feel pain anymore. I accidentally cut my leg on someone's bottle can tip and that didn't hurt too.

It was this feeling of euphoria, of freedom that makes someone wanna drink somemore.. whooo.

Okay, after that i can't remember what i did. It's all a blur le. But i remembered i wanted to watch a movie. And when the guys wanted to go home i was all set to let them go home.

Anyways, Ben sent me home. My mom was waiting for me i remembered. She wasn't angry at all. She was sad to see me struggle like this. I remembered her asking me if i really want to get into a relationship with Hanfeng and i said yes. Now i feel foolish all over. Sigh..

Anyway, when i woke up i felt better. I don't know why people say they'll get hangovers if they drink but i don't. I woke up fresh and my mind was a blank. Anyway just like i did many times before i'm going to just keep enduring. Just keep going about my life and try to hang out with my classmates more often now.

xoxo, Sarah.

2009-03-05T04:35:00.000-08:00

Argh, came home today planning to blog about something then realised that Photobucket decided to exclaim : Bandwidth EXCEEDED!!!

Rarrr, so i decided to change to a nice new blogskin hahas. I love this one. It's like meh meh's- it scrolls to the right. Sooooo, Here are some of the last minute pictures i delayed putting up =).

Oh yea, since the space is bigger now the words are placed nicely so the pictures don't squeeze with the words like jelly beans hahas. And i think pink is a nice colour to blog in don't u think?

Nash and his band of girls =DDD

Our class =) 1B'02

From Left: Christina, Rachel,Me,Ying Lan and Jerine =)

And... On Monday i went out with bennifer to Plaza Singapura and we watched Marley and Me. It was really sad but an awesome show. I keep wiping my eyes on Bennifer's Jacket lo.. Keke =0

Here are some pictures we took.

Then i went for choir =)

The attendance was amazing since so many ppl turned out. Thankfully Bennifer came over and took some pics for us =) Thnx Tako kun!!

xoxo, SaRaH...

2009-03-03T10:10:00.000-08:00

Sry peeps, so lazy to blog nowadays.. Been going here and there every single day. I wan to do alot of stuff. This are my holiday activities =D

SaRaH's List of Things To Do

1.Clubbing with Lexy Kun

2.Shop with xin yi

3. Class outing with 1B'02

4.Poke my choir frens.

5.Poke them again.

6.Bruce AHEM AHEM!!!

7.Hang out with doreen and jac Jac.

8.Sleepover with xToshe

9.Soul Eater Anime!!!

10.Study Japanese...

11.Out with Ben 10

12.Church lalala

13.Take awesome pics at the mansion on top of Telok Blangah Hill in my Gothic Lolita dress

14. Flirt with my gfs =D

15.Hang out with 2 awesome girls : DeBorah +Aisyah

16.Go out with yi Zhen

17. Go out with Yi Zhen and Vincent Chandra ( o_O)

18.Scream if i dun go out once per week.

19.Stare at cute boys!! =DDD

20.Receive knocks on the head from dear for staring at cute guys!!!

21. Nibble dear's hand.

22. Rub dear's hair.

23. Mess up dear's hair.

24.MHF2 pl0x!!! Hr 4 le!!!!!!

25.Hack pet society ( Wait, i've done that)

26. Listen to more music

27.Learn to Dota Properly..

28.Buy a packet of FAMOUS AMOS cookies and finish it in a day

29. Visit the doctor after getting a tummy ache for eating all the cookies in a day.

30.Tag ppl on their blogs.

31. Poke ppl on Facebook.

32.Reply ppl on Tagged.com

33. Party!!!

34.Tell Ghost stories to cousins and make them unable to sleep for an entire night.

35. Go out with Meh Meh..

36.Spam ppl on msn..

Anddd...... Spending time and treasuring every moment i have with him..

Yea u.. I dun need to put ur name here.. I know u read my blog.

I love u ok<33333

2009-02-26T21:29:00.000-08:00

Wah, I'm such a lazy girl =/

Anyways, yesterday was the last day of exams. It was a big relief after i stepped out of the examination room whooo..

Anyways, dear came to fetch me as usual and then me and Sindhu walked out of school. On the way, we passed by a class who were taking pictures. Then one guy flashed his pubes at the camera.. I was like wtf... and i turned quickly. Later on , the guy turned to me and shouted," SORRY GIRL U SAW MY PUBES!! ;DDDDD" zzzzzzzz...

After that me and my dar went to Tiong Bahru and ate at the Japanese restaurant there. I used to went there to eat with my mom. They had this fantastic paper pot and ramen where you can choose how much chilli you want to put into your soup =).

Crispy tofu =)

My ramen with beef in dashi soup =)

My dear's ramen.. I forgot what le haha =)

After that we went to walk walk around then he send me home. I was sooooo tired lo.. The previous day i was so busy studying for CPPB. So when i went home, i totally crashed after my bath and woke at 3am o_O. Then i watched soul eater until episode 5 then sleep again until 12pm hahas.

Okay bah.. Planning to go out with dear now.. Update later again~~

<33>

2009-02-24T10:07:00.000-08:00

Lex' C sent me this poem he made for his love.. I think it's awesome so i'm going to put it here =)

I came to understand something: that nothing lasts forever......

People take years to build their relationship to make sure that it lasts “till death do us part”

But death takes away everything on this mortal plane eventually

This isn’t a condemnation of love....

But a enlightenment to whoever is in love that they should treasure each and every moment

That’s why I’ve come to the conclusion of this passage.

I’m in love with you......I know that you don’t believe in forever but that’s why

Thats why I would treasure each and every moment with you whether we are together or apart

But if eventually things don’t work out.

I will carry these memories for the rest of my life.

Memories of the girl who would’ve taken away my first kiss

Memories of you, xxx

Anyway

Anyways, today i had my math paper. I was studying the whole night so i was mentally drained when i was sitting for the paper. Overall, i thought the paper was alright... Although the last question was o_O.

Baby came to fetch me today after school. We went to eat at Bukit Merah Central. While we were walking past the shelter, some droplets of water fell onto dear's pants! Muahahha.. It fell just at his crotch area... I jokingly told dear he's wet =p

Anyways, he said not to mention it but i'll still do it anyway. After that went to NTUC to buy stuff then he came home with me. Then we played monster hunter awhile. Dear died halfway when killing shogun cenataur hahas.. We downed khezu and cenetaur. After that, Bruce called and my dear left to play monster hunter with him while i go home and sleep.. Basically, nothing much.

Then now i'm awake blogging and watching Kitchen nightmares haha..

Oh yea, should upload my fren's dance video.. I think it's nice. Comment for him yea =)

xoxo, Sarah.

Whooo.. =)

2009-02-21T11:58:00.000-08:00

Yays, finally created a new blog after a freakin long time... The last few times i tried creating a blog but i couldn't edit the layouts..

Had some problems with the placing of the blog too. Anyways,.. even though it's 4am and i need to sleep right nw, i've decided to write about my previous day experience =D

Yesterday was my dreaded Ioc(InOrganic and Organic chemistry). I met Richmond and Nash earlier to study and we revised the topics together. Overall it went fairly well. I was sitting beside Jonathan and he wrote more than me wow. And i thought he was a badboy keke. Anyways, i didn't have time to finish 2 questions...
20 marks fly~

After that, me and my dar went to take the train to CityHall to meet dreamy for his birthday gathering. We got him a stuffed turtle =D

Yay, i made a new fren named Alex.. I finally got another person to join me in cosplaying. So far there's only me, my dar, bennifer(benweefuur), ben 10(aka cameraman as he says), didi kenneth, and maybe alex. Sigh, i was hoping more ppl would join so that phototaking would be fun... especially going to the Cosplay fair in April together.

Anyways, after that, we went home and i went to buy vodka from the nearby 7-11 to drink abit. My dear had to send me home cause i was kinda dizzy hahas. Thanks dear.

Okay, could have been more elaborate but i'm too tired le.. Maybe tomorrow. Oh ya, remember tag me thnx!!!

Baby i love u...